Belmondo Diary – In Brugge


WEDNESDAY August 19th, 2020

Game Day. Club Brugge v Liverpool. Champions League Best Placed Playoff Leg 1.

I decided to rest most of the starters in order to focus on continuing a good start to the league. Winning the Premier League is my focus. Belgian outposts are not quite worthy of my full attention. This meant the Welsh Wizards got starts. It also saw the Free Fancy Frenchmen all start – Fofana in goal, Wilfried Thomas up front, and Jeff (very French name) Reine-Adelaide in the attacking midfield position. The average age of those five? A touch under twenty.

Suffice to say that I was pleasantly surprised when Robbie Rush went straight out to score a goal in the ninth minute. It was a poacher’s effort after a broken down corner. Gethin Cassidy was involved in the game right from the start. He started taking corners and free kicks like he was a twelve-year veteran of the team. In fact, our second goal came from his free kick routine – Rush headed it home in the 57th minute.

We completed the rout (as they say) in the 81st with old man Clyne who completed a best on ground performance. I’d say three-nil away is a decent start to the Champions League campaign. Done with the youngsters suggests managerial brilliance. Not that the media noticed.

Arsene Wenger was in the crowd allegedly watching four of my players for his French squad. The afore-mentioned Free Fancy Frenchmen plus Sakho. I would allege that he was probably watching for tactical research, but only in private.


FRIDAY August 21st, 2020

The search for a central defender is on. An agent just sent me a request to check out his transfer listed player, Jairo Riedeweld. A Dutch guy. Go figure. Seriously, do people think I’m Dutch now? He looks decent, so I sent a scout out to see if he’s the guy I’m looking for.

SATURDAY August 22nd, 2020

Game Day. QPR v Liverpool.

Last night, I decided to give the youngsters another shot. I named an unchanged team for the trip to London.

They delivered. Again. Four goals in the first half – all of them to youngsters – killed the game early. In fact, QPR only managed two shots on target for the whole game. One of them was a goal, which doesn’t do much for Fofana’s average. However, a fifth goal in the second half, once again to a youngster, has me wondering about the quality of the Premier League. I assume there will be some good opposition, right?


So, I wonder if I should just sell off all the old, high-earning players and ban anyone over twenty-one. Probably a bit early for that due to the impending transfer window closure, but maybe at Christmas.

Robbie Rush is really quite amazing. He is comfortable running down the left wing in addition to being a natural up front. He’s like the Welsh version of Gareth Bale. Have to give him lots of opportunities this season so he can flourish.

TUESDAY August 25th, 2020

Gethin got into the Premier League team of the week! Amazing. This kid would never have dreamed of even getting a game this season, but here he is receiving the plaudits. Obviously, he would still be languishing in the reserves if Jurgen had still been in charge.

WEDNESDAY August 26th, 2020

Game Day. Liverpool v Club Brugge. Champions League Best Placed Playoff Leg 1.

Five goals. They managed zero again. I guess Brugge didn’t really deserve to be in the Champions League. They gave away three penalties in frustration. Morata missed one, but that obviously didn’t matter in the end.


As manager of Liverpool, I’ve racked up a 15-1 goal scoring ratio. This is like coaching the U.S. team last year. I hope someone challenging turns up soon. In saying that, we’re hosting Manchester City this weekend. They’re apparently a very rich club. We’ll see what they can bring.

THURSDAY August 27th, 2020

Champions League draw was today. We’re in a group with Dortmund, Shakhtar, and Celtic. That should be a top place finish for us. I wonder who we’ll play in the first knockout round. I was told today that Liverpool won the competition 15 years ago. Probably time to do that again.

SATURDAY August 29th, 2020

Game Day. Liverpool v Manchester City.

Challenge day. I put in the first team lineup to properly test ourselves against the main competition for the league. They had a team with Aguero and Griezmann up front. They also featured Isco and De Bruyne alongside Thiago Maia in the middle with a Mr. Van Dijk at the back. He seemed Dutch – maybe I should be trying to sign him for Liverpool.

The first half was cagey with very few shots. One for them and three for us. Their shot was off target and ours all went into the net, so we went in ahead three nil. Morata made the first goal for a rushing Ceballos. It was Alvaro himself with the second goal – a penalty from a Van Dijk foul in the box. Mane got the third after a lung-busting run up the middle. Morata was the creator again.

The second half was a different story. City managed three shots on target, which was obviously a concern, but they still left Anfield with zero goals and zero points. We stuck with three goals, but that was enough.


I am still baffled by this start. I thought the defense was our clear weakness. We’ve only conceded a single goal. Do I bother signing a new defender? There are only a few days left in the window. Maybe I’ll make an offer for Van Dijk after he just watched us in full flight from close up.

MONDAY August 31st, 2020

Manchester City wouldn’t even return my calls on Van Dijk, so I looked elsewhere. Jonathan Tah caught my eye, but Leverkusen told me he wasn’t for sale. I told the press yesterday that I was planning to sign Mr. Tah. Magically, today he was transfer listed. I made a call, talked his agent, and voila, we have an enormous center back to take us all the way to glory.

Naturally, the fans on Twitter were more concerned that we have too many central defenders instead of focusing on the coup of signing Tah. Fickle and misguided. Thankfully, I don’t care about the fans.

To sate their blood-thirst, I sold Joe Gomez to West Ham for £11 million.

And with that, the transfer window was over. Manchester City only managed to spend £204 million. We had a net income of £38 million having brought in £133 million through sales. And did I mention that we’ve only let in one goal so far? Let’s see what September brings us.


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